Keith is out of town for work. He left yesterday and I missed him before he was even out of the driveway. After three weeks on the road in Texas, we were sick of each other and both looking forward to a break. So, I was surprised at my reaction. What I came to realize is that I was upset about being apart physically when we had already been emotionally disconnected for a week or so. Nothing major happening, but we were just kind of going along and not talking about minor irritants, but not getting over them either.
Maybe he was feeling something like that too because we ended up having an argument over the phone last night, which ended up being a good thing. Got things out in the open. No major plan of action, no real solutions, just cleared the air a bit. Talked about what we'd been tip toeing around. If that isn't freeing, I don't know what is.
So, because of that and some other things, and because I had DECIDED it, I was looking forward to having a GREAT day today. It was not to be. I was nervous about a deal at work, so I knew I had to be up early to get a jump start on it. Woke up feeling yucky - cramps and headache. Not unbearable, but not a good start. Had to get to work though, so I sucked it up. I spent the better part of two hours trying to get a straight answer from a carrier, and with every passing minute, came the realization that this deal was going to fall through. I had suspected that the night before and had started working on a Plan B, but having no luck with that. Tried Plan C. Nada. Eventually it out of my hands, but did get handled, so customer is ok, but I am left frazzled, disappointed and wondering where I went wrong. Just getting back into the game with work, so I'm not sharp. I did trust my gut on this though, and followed it, which saved me some drama. Also I was proactive and made the hard phone call to tell the customer I had problems, rather than waiting for him to call and ask what was happening. So, I will give myself a few brownie points.
I was surprised at how much it took out of me though. Probably did not help that I woke up not feeling well, hoping to get things taken care of and go back to bed. I was already running low I guess. Did not let myself go back to bed, but did not have a productive day. Just got through. Sometimes I think that's ok. It's all I had today, so it's good enough.
Tomorrow will be better. If nothing else, it's a fresh start.
